Trust Issues? Let’s Talk About It.
Trust. It’s one of those things we all need, deeply crave, and yet it can feel harder to maintain than a group text without drama.
So, what is trust, really?
Trust is the belief that someone will show up with honesty, reliability, and care. It’s foundational in every kind of relationship: romantic, professional, platonic, and yes, even the one you have with yourself.
🌱 Why Trust Matters
Trust is the glue that holds connection together. Without it:
Relationships feel unsafe or unstable.
Communication becomes guarded.
Vulnerability gets replaced with suspicion.
And let’s face it—everything becomes exhausting.
According to Brené Brown (2015), trust isn’t just a grand gesture—it’s built in small, consistent moments over time. It's those little acts that whisper, "You're safe with me."
💔 When Trust Breaks: What Healing Looks Like
Healing from a breach of trust isn’t linear, but it is possible. Here’s how it can start:
Did you commit the breach? Acknowledge it. – Don’t minimize or gaslight. Own it. Remember, this is not about you. This is about showing up in an authentic way so the person whom you have hurt can feel seen.
Communicate boundaries – Rebuilding trust often requires new agreements.
Allow time – Regaining trust takes longer than breaking it. Be patient.
✋ How to Apologize Like a Grown-Up
✨ PRO TIP: Take note of the advice below ⬇️, it will serve you well in maintaining a healthy relationship! ✨
A real apology is not “Sorry you feel that way.” Try this instead:
“I understand how my actions hurt you.”
“Here’s what I’ve learned, and here’s what I’ll do differently.”
“I value your trust, and I want to earn it back.”
Remember, this is not about you and your need to be forgiven. This is about the other person’s needs.
Bonus tip: Show, don’t just tell. Consistent behavior speaks louder than even the most eloquent sorry.
🚫 When Not to Rebuild Trust
Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do isn’t to forgive and rebuild—it’s to step back and protect your peace. Not everyone has earned another round of your trust, and that’s okay.
Signs someone may not be trustworthy:
Repeated dishonesty or half-truths
Broken promises without genuine accountability (see the 2 sections above)
Manipulation, gaslighting, or blame-shifting
Saying the right things but never following through
You are constantly feeling tense, defensive, or “on alert” around them
The hardest breaches to mend include:
Infidelity — because it breaks both emotional and physical safety
Financial deception — because it undermines stability and shared goals
Emotional betrayal or secret-keeping — because it erodes the foundation of trust
These kinds of ruptures don’t just break a promise—they shatter your sense of safety and reality. Repair takes sustained transparency, empathy, and consistency from the person who caused harm—not just words of regret.
If you notice that:
Their behavior doesn’t match their apologies,
Or the “repair” feels like walking on eggshells,
Or you’re waiting for the next letdown...
That’s not rebuilding. That’s reliving.
Watch patterns, not isolated moments:
Trustworthy people own their missteps and actively do better next time.
Untrustworthy people repeat the same behavior and call it “trying.”
And yes—it’s completely valid to decide not to trust someone again. Sometimes, withholding trust is not punishment—it’s protection. Trust me, there are plenty of people out there who ARE worthy of your trust.
💪 The Most Important Trust? Trusting Yourself.
Here’s the truth bomb: people are going to do what people do. You can’t control their choices—but you can build a solid foundation of self-trust.
When you know deep down that you can handle what life throws your way:
You’re less reactive and more reflective.
You live with more peace and less panic.
You listen to your gut—not your fear.
You realize there is no one worth denying yourself a sense of peace.
And you stop spinning your wheels trying to predict or prevent disappointment.
Because when you trust yourself, you stop bracing for betrayal and start living with openness.
Ready to build stronger trust—from the inside out? Let’s talk.
📚 Reference
Brown, B. (2015). Rising Strong. Spiegel & Grau.
