The Three Roads: Choosing Change, Acceptance, or Suffering
Being a therapist and art therapist in Tampa, oftentimes I am speaking with clients working through a variety of decisions. Life’s full of crossroads. But unlike the scenic ones you see in travel ads, these crossroads often appear when things feel messy—relationships, work, anxiety, grief, or just the everyday weight of being human.
The truth is, in every moment we’re choosing one of three roads:
The Road of Suffering
The Road of Proactive Change
The Road of Acceptance
Here’s the secret: if we don’t consciously choose the second or third road, we’re automatically taking the first. And who wants to suffer?
Road One: Suffering
This is where we ruminate, resist, and replay. It’s the mental cul-de-sac of “Why is this happening to me?” We may not realize we’ve chosen it—it just feels like life dumped us here. But staying on this road keeps us stuck in victim mode, drained by what we think we can’t change.
Road Two: Proactive Change
Here, we act. We set boundaries, have hard conversations, apply for new jobs, or start therapy. Choosing change doesn’t guarantee success, but it shifts us from powerless to purposeful. As Viktor Frankl wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Change isn’t just about the destination—it’s about reclaiming your agency on the journey there.
Road Three: Acceptance
Acceptance often gets a bad rap, as if it means giving up. But it’s not surrender—it’s serenity. Choosing acceptance means saying, “This is what it is right now, and I can still be okay.” Sometimes, the healthiest move for your mental well-being is to stop wrestling reality. (And just to be clear: this doesn’t apply to situations where you feel physically and/or emotionally threatened—those always call for action and safety first.)
The Power of Choice
Making a choice—any choice—is empowering. It moves you from “Why me?” to “What now?” And if you’ve been camped out on the Suffering Road for a while? That’s okay. Maybe you didn’t realize you were actually making a choice. Now you do. So, you can forgive yourself, turn the page, and take a step toward change or toward peace.
Because the real power isn’t in controlling what happens—it’s in choosing your road.
Ready to choose your road? Let’s talk about it.
📚 References
Frankl, V. E. (1946). Man’s Search for Meaning. Beacon Press.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever You Go, There You Are. Hyperion.
