Freeing Yourself From the Grip of Phobias
Phobias are sneaky. They don’t tap politely on your shoulder; they kick in the door, grab your nervous system, and shout,“FIGHT, RUN, or HIDE… RIGHT NOW!”
If this sounds familiar, breathe—I’ve got you.
Your brain is not broken. It’s doing exactly what it learned during past danger: survive at any cost. For some people, phobias start from a specific traumatic event. Maybe you got trapped in an elevator, narrowly escaped a burning building, or watched a car slide toward you. If your brain thought your life (or someone else’s life) was in danger, your nervous system said: “Never again.”
That’s how phobias and PTSD can become tangled together.
Why Your Body Freaks Out
Your fear circuit lives in the amygdala—think of it as the brain’s smoke detector.
Trigger → “threat” → adrenaline → heart rate → muscles tighten → you’re ready for combat.
This is normal physiology. It becomes a problem when the smoke detector goes off at burnt toast.
Exposure Therapy: Slow, Gentle Rewiring
Exposure therapy works by teaching your nervous system, step by step, that the old danger is over.
We don’t shove you into the deep end (literally or metaphorically). Instead, we build a ladder:
You start with the least scary step (images, discussions).
Your body learns to stay calm.
You move to the next step.
Eventually, you build confidence in situations that used to own you.
This is called habituation—your nervous system learns:
“I don’t die here. I can breathe. I can handle this.”
Grounding & Mindfulness: Your Shield Against Panic
When the Anxiety Monster starts yelling, you don’t negotiate—you regulate:
5–4–3–2–1 grounding
Name 5 things you see, 4 you touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste.Butterfly Hug
Interlock your thumbs and place your hands on your chest. Alternating chest taps to calm your nervous system. This can also be done on your arms.Square breathing
In 4s… hold 4… out 4… hold 4.Cold water on wrists or neck
Reduces physiological arousal fast.
These tools teach the body:
“I am safe now. I don’t die here.”
Personify Your Anxiety Monster
Try this: externalize the fear. Give it a name - “The Panic Possum” or “Sir Freaks-A-Lot.”
Then talk back to it:
“I’m going to enjoy this plane ride.”
“I’m safe, and I’m not listening to you.”
“I control my breath. I control my body. You can sit in the back seat.”
Externalizing and personifying your anxiety monster gives you a sense of control and detachment.
You Don’t Have to Live in Avoidance
Avoidance feels safe, but it steals your life. Exposure isn’t about being brave; it’s about teaching your body the truth: the danger has passed.
If you're ready to release fear’s grip on you, reach out: https://www.thewayisthrough.org
📚References
Craske, M.G. et al. (2014). Optimizing exposure therapy. Behaviour Research and Therapy.
APA. (2017). Clinical Practice Guideline for the Treatment of PTSD.
Porges, S.W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory.
Foa, E.B. & Kozak, M.J. (1986). Emotional Processing of Fear. Psychological Bulletin.
